Back Down Again

I know its been a while here....I keep meaning to update, just haven't.

my meeting last week went well. I lost 3.8 lbs. So I'm back down 5.8 lbs...yay me!!

I had a really great week last week and I'm really proud of my self.

not once did I go to a drive Thru. That is huge!!

then Saturday came and Sarah called me to pick her up in the city and for not reason at all I went to Mickey dees and got my usual. Why I don't know. It was almost like I was a robot, without thinking...I just went, ordered, however I did do something different. I put the bag down in the seat and left it there.

the entire ride there (about an hour) it sat there. I didn't think about it, didn't want it, didn't eat it. When I got off my exit there was a old man (bum) on crutches standing in the middle of the lane, just standing. It was a red light and I happened to be stopped right next to him. He was quiet, didn't bother anybody, just stood there waiting for some one to give him change. So I looked at the bag in my seat, picked it up and handed it to him. He gave me the biggest smile, and thanked me and I went on my way, patting myself on the back. I felt so great.

Sarah and I ended up going to IHOP afterwards where we both had salads. It was so much better than what I had in that bag. That's for sure.

this week I won't be able to get to the meeting because I have an appointment that night to meet with sarah's boss I guess, so ill miss this week. Which is probably best since I don't feel like I did well this week. Mainly because of this weekend. Didn't make the greatest choices over the weekend but so far this week I'm doing ok. Not great....But ok. I also haven't drank as much water as I did last week....And I can feel that too.

little by little, day by day I can feel myself getting better. That is all I care about. Getting better.

my basic day as far as meals go is an egg sandwich for breakfast for which I bought egg whites to make them with. I've been changing it up to adding veggies with it....And ff cheese...Which is yummy.

for lunch I get fruit from the cafeteria and coffee. So I munch on the fruit while working.

and for dinner I have my salad. The roomies laugh at me cuz I put everything in it. When they make dinner, like the other night we had corn on the cob and steak.....I cut the off the corn and cut up the steak and put it in a salad. And that will be my dinner. I change up the meat part. Its easy and its good and it fills me up. So for now that has been my menu. And so far it seems to be working.

except yesterday when I was in my meeting which usually only last an hour, lasted an hour and a half and for that last half hour my stomach started growling in the conference room and I was sooo hoping nobody heard it. I was trying to guzzle my water down so it would fill my tummy......Didn't work. It was a long day for me at work and I was hungry!! LOL

well that's about it. I know there is more to say but I just can't think right now and its really really late. So....Until next time.....

later!

I Believe...

I believe I haven't updated in a while

I believe its because my weigh in last week wasn't good. I gained 2.4.

I believe that doing the program half-assed is not such a good thing.

I do believe that this week I will be a loser.

I believe that as time goes on this is getting easier and I can feel it.

I also believe that emails from mom are life changing.

I believe in the power of the mind. Its very tricky and can play against you if you let it.

I believe I will not let the devil get in the way of my goals.

I believe that I put a little to much pepper in my salad tonight. HOT!!

I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!!

I believe that this is the end of my entry! :o)

Not The Brightest Bulb...

Ok so I never claimed to be the most intelligent. Especially when it comes to food.

My first week on the program and I think I did ok. Not great. But ok. The first 2 days were horrible and I just made bad choices. The weekend I did better and the rest of the week went well too even with having money to spend. (money=food) I didn’t go to the cafeteria all week, the only drive thru I was in was this morning for coffee and all in all I did really well. And it showed. I lost 5 lbs.

Now here is where the dumb-ass in me comes in. now in the past on WI day I would not eat or drink a single thing until after the meeting. Which was at 6pm and I was famished by then. But I also knew that my friend and I were going to Subway afterwards so without necessarily pigging out…the sandwich very much satisfied my hunger pangs. So yesterday being weigh in day, I didn’t starve my self all day. I did really good actually. I drank mostly liquids. Coffee in the morning followed by water till about 1pm (the meeting is at 5pm) and I ate about a handful of trail mix, which did very well and kept my stomach satisfied till dinner. So I was thinking I would get Chinese again for dinner. I noticed the last time I went that they had a diet menu and I would order from that. I was thinking I would get chicken with steamed veggies and rice. And that would be a good dinner.

So I go to the meeting, lost 5 lbs, pretty happy about that, I was feeling pretty good physically (somewhat) the meeting was pretty good too. I think I like this group better than the other one. It's a little bigger and the people are more interactive than the later group. So it was all good. Off I go to get dinner. Where it just all fell apart.

I ended up getting sesame chicken with broccoli, rice, egg roll and wantons. (not the largest portions, but a lot nonetheless) I don’t know what happened. So I got home and walked the dog, changed clothes, noticed that I have a new pain now in my left knee. It kinda feels like It's going to come right out of the socket. I’ve tried to “pop” it in place and one time it did (very painfully I might add) so I won’t do that again, but still it doesn’t feel right. It literally feels like I'm going to take a step and my knee will become dislocated. It's not a very good feeling. I’m hoping it goes away. Anyway…..

So I ate it. Not all of it at once. But I ate it. By the end of the night it was all gone.

So today now, I'm feeling it. I'm feeling sluggish, short of breathe, wobbly like. Just bad.

Lesson learned.

Today was a good day. I got coffee this morning, drinking tons of water all day, munching on WW 2 point snacks and some trail mix and I haven’t felt that need to eat yet. Ive been pretty busy at work too so that I'm sure has helped. I drink a lot of water a day so I'm constantly running to the washroom. I'm looking forward to dinner tonight. I think its tacos. I know I have the points for it and I will make sensible choices and eat a sensible portion.

My plan for the weekend is to do some “spring” cleaning as to keep me active and away from that computer chair. I do have to work the phones tonight, which will be hard on my legs, but I need the money. I'm really trying to get in some activity even if it is just cleaning. It's not sitting, which I do way too much and I'm not to happy about it.

I just hope that in time as I lose more weight my pain will go away. I'm sure I have done a fair share of damage to my bones being obese for most of my life; I just really hope that It's not to late. The last thing I need right now are doctor bills.

So have a great weekend and I’ll update soon!

Hugs, Jeannine